Jroc's Jeju guide to St. Patty's Day

While some of you may be thinking, "Well I'm in Korea, I guess I don't have to celebrate St. Patty's Day...", you'd be wrong, dead wrong. It doesn't matter where you are or what you're doing, as a world ambassador of peace, it is your duty to spread the love and joy that comes with the Irish spirit...and of course, the drinking.

Being partly Irish, I've taken upon myself to come up with a practical guide for those of you who aren't quite sure what to do with yourselves come the 14th of March.

Step One: Find yourself a green t-shirt, shirt, dress shirt, hat, jacket, or some pants. If you're not wearing green, you're not doing your job.



Step Two: Locate the nearest alcohol supplier, whether that be a GS25, Family Mart, or a soju tent in your back parking lot. This will be the first place you go once you get up.

Step Three: Set alarm to 9:00 am; Saint Patrick didn't become the patron saint of Ireland by sleeping in.

Step Four: Wake up, immediately head to nearest liquor outlet, purchase alcohol. Just enough to hold you over 'til after breakfast, wherein you'll need to find some more drinks. Now some of you may be thinking, "What should I buy, there is so many choices?"

First of all, you'll want something a little easy on the liver, you don't want to be passing out before making it to the evening/nightly festivities. I suggest a bottle or two of Jeju Makgeolli; the label is green, so it adds even more to your contribution to the festive spirit.

Step Five: Get breakfast. You can't work on an empty stomach, so how can you go about drinking all day on one. You'll want a big meal, the more food the better, this will help keep your pace with your drinking.

Step Six: Recruit some colleagues, friends, mates, chums, co-workers, or randoms off the street to drink with you. If you can't find someone to drink with, you're not trying hard enough, especially in Korea.

Step Seven: Get some lunch. By this time, you'll be on your way to getting drunk, so you'll need some more food to keep yourself up and going. I suggest something spicy, as this will help to give a quick jolt to your system to help maintain your relative sobriety. Being in Korea, there is many spicy choices to choose from; for those of you brave enough, I recommend 불닭 (bul dahk) or "Fire Chicken".

Step Eight: After refueling, you can get back to drinking with your ole pal/mate, and continue your journey to inebriation, however, if you're feeling like you won't be able to continue drinking for much longer, head to the nearest jimgilbang (sauna room) for some relaxation and rejuvenation. Most offer drinks there as well, so if you want to keep going, you'll have easy access.

Step Nine: You may be feeling a bit hungry after spending an hour or two in the sauna, so its now time to embrace the true Irish in you; buy a guinness. You can find them at almost any GS25, Family Mart, E-mart, and even most western/foreign restaurants. Its thick like soup, but creamy like coffee. Its a definite meal replacement if I've ever needed one.



Step Ten: You're on your way to becoming a true patron saint, its now time to congregate the masses. Take out your cell phone, start dialing friends' numbers. Call as many people as you can to find out where they're at; organize something and get moving, you've only got so many hours of drinking left.

Well that's all you really need to know, anything else you do after that is just an added bonus, especially if you're still conscious by this point; and you should be if you've followed my step by step instructions.

For anyone on Jeju for this most wondrous of occasions, feel free to stop by Blue Agave, there will be some night time festivities for all to enjoy. Happy St. Patrick's Day!